2.

Okay, so I found the shades (£69.99 from manmdirect.com - BARGAIN) so now I can get back to what's important - educating you people about what one of the 'poshest' areas in England is really like.

Now the Easter holidays are VERY important in our schedules - the weather's usually perfect (today it was snowing, but hush), and they're usually the right length that people like C and E can spend it drinking, smoking and the occasional fuck when they're horny. So I'll be keeping an eagle eye and an open ear throughout.

You will also need to know about the setting of these darlings' tangled lives. Well of course there are various places, but the important few are:

TOWN : Where anyone who is anyone will spend their weekends, holidays and hours after school. The soothing range of shops lined up for our shopping needs are only the tip of the iceberg on why we choose to come here. There are many spots where you could go and, chances are, you would come face to face with a number of the 'beautiful people'. These are -

1. Starbucks. You can hardly expect us to last all day (and usually all night) without a shot of caffeine? And where else to go other than Starbucks, with its comfy chairs and usually a whole crowd of people you vaguely recognise. That's all part of the fun.

2. Burger King. You won't believe it, but C had sex with her previous boyfriend in the BK toilets. Now that's class. Of course, us girls rarely EAT in here - think of the calories! But the boys, of course, have no guilt from eating a mound of dead cow smothered in carbs. None whatsoever. And this is why we come - we're fine with getting a Diet Coke instead of a meal - as long as we're with our beloved eye candy.

3. The Beers. Beer Gardens, actually, but nicknamed 'The Beers'. This is basically a huge piece of lush green grass, ready for us to sunbathe, chat, smoke and drink. Glorious.

4. Monties. Really called Montpellier Gardens. While The Beers is more for the emos to think they're hardcore, Monties is where the potheads usually hang. I prefer The Beers myself, as its closer to shops and has less weed smoke blowing in your freshly washed hair, many (possibly including C) like Monties.

5. The Prom(enade). All the best shops are down here. Cavendish House, Jack Wills, Reiss, Molton Brown, Space NK, Trapeze...etc. Many like sneaking a fag down here, and shopping here is a MUST if you want to get the look of Cheltenham's best.

H's HOUSE

H (a sweet, mild-mannered girl who gets roaring drunk and usually throws herself on boys), lives quite near town, and so this is where girls and boys tend to go to drink, have sex, and possibly smoke weed. M and O (another one like M, badboy, self-confessed player) tend to wreck the place on a regular basis, which must be lovely for H's parents, I'm sure.

CINEWORLD

The beautiful people love their movies. Especially in the dark, where everyone is focused elsewhere...you know where I'm going, I'm sure. This is probably why C and her gang have been thrown out of Cineworld many times.

And speaking of Cineworld (and town for that matter), I'm due there in 15 minutes. Will talk later, there's bound to be something going on between E and her 'best friend' who has been in love with her since September (he's a guy, just letting you know). Now E is free from her fat twat of a boyfriend, will - let's call him K - make a move? I'll let you know.

With love,

x x x x x x